14er Update

In light of recent events, it has been decreed that a standard 14er would not be appropriate at this time. Instead, we’ve decided to attempt the near-impossible – a Virtual 14er from the comfort of your own homes! Your esteemed ASMs have established basic ground rules for said 14er. You will walk laps around your house approximately 6,890 times, however you must also climb up and down approximately 824 flights of stairs. Every 10 laps or 2 flight of stairs, you need to add weight to your backpack to simulate the lack of oxygen on a real 14er. If you live in a ranch-style home, your basement will suffice. If you do not have stairs easily accessible, a ladder on the side of your house will have to do. Once you complete your journey, you must take a selfie while holding a sign stating “Survived My First Virtual 14er, 2020.”

If this seems unreasonable, you are correct. This is a joke. We simply want to see if anyone is paying attention. The REAL 14er date has been moved back a couple of weeks to August 21st-23rd at a yet-to-be-determined site by Mr. Johnson. SCOUTS, if you’ve read this far, simply tell Mr. Bielkiewicz on the next virtual scout meeting what the new date for the 14er is and who is leading it and I will give you a prize!

-Mr. Bielkiewicz
ASM of Seeing If You’re Paying Attention